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Rule #2: Know the Difference Between Expectations and Standards Standards are the things you must have in a relationship—mutual respect, attraction, fun, etc.
Expectations, however, set you up for disappointment, and they blind you when you've got something good.
And when you bring single parents, their former partners, and their children into the mix, things get even messier.
But that doesn't mean that every attractive single dad you meet is off limits!
This is important because you cannot separate the parent from the children. Often, the attention, time and resources that a parent devotes to his/her children can make one feel jealous or resentful. Single parents are likely to set basic boundaries with regards to their children. Sometimes when we meet the kids we want to make a good impression.
If you are dating a parent, their children will be part of the picture at some point. Are you self-assured and independent enough to accept that the children of your date will be the priority? These boundaries can range from time devoted to children, to dietary/nutrition concerns, to when late night guests are acceptable. If you are dating a single parent and your relationship has progressed to the point where you spend time together with the kids, notice how your date parents, the kids’ behaviors, and the family culture. Maybe we try too hard: excessively friendly, overly generous, or uncomfortably upbeat. It is natural that children may be somewhat leery of a new person in the mix.
Given these statistics, if you are a single adult, it would not be surprising that you find yourself attracted to someone who has children.
Trying to get too involved too quickly will only lead to resentment from her and her children.
What I'm trying to say is this: Prioritize the things that are important to you in a relationship, and then keep those in mind.
It's good to hold the guy you're dating, single parent or not, to high standards—he should treat you well and make you feel good about yourself, yet it's not good to throw away a healthy relationship because you expect to have a monopoly on his free time or expect his kids to adore you immediately.
Be open, be honest, and communicate clearly when it comes to these important and sensitive issues.
Rule #7: He's Not Just Looking for Another Mother to His Children Yes, it's important to show him that you can act appropriately and responsibly so that he sees you as someone who can help him raise his children, but he also needs a romantic partner on top of that.